God's own demon

Finally...another blog...rather, another reason to blog.

The great Parashurama threw his axe and the sea beat a hasty retreat. Thus was Kerala born. I say it doesn't matter even if it came into existence as a result of the drifting of continents...it would still remain beautiful. After dilly-dallying for ages, finally and thankfully, I left for Kerala. Not before buying a paisa vasool backpack from Matunga for Rs 850...must say pretty neat.

The best part about travelling alone is...well...err...travelling alone! Simple. Nothing beats it. And it justs get better if it's me...(did you smell a narcissist?). I have no regrets that I did not celebrate 31st Dec...kya karein bhai....never been a victim of peer pressure! Must pat myself on the back for planning this chota trip to Kerala nadu...(what to do yaar...aur koi pat nahi karta!)

January 2, Dadar-Ernakulam, winter special train, second class sleeper, seat no 71...next to the loo...take a deep breath says Baba Ramdev. yaar koi gal nahi...safar to changa tha. Konkan railway routes are simbblly soooperrr...especially when it passes through Canara to Kerala. Not that the smell of stale air emanating from the loo works wonders for your mood...the best remedy is to open the main door of the compartment and let the breeze blow past you. I stood at the door for hours at stretch. But koi yeh mujhe please batayega....ki why the hell do we guys leave our toilet doors ajar?...We share idlis in trains, kachoris, peanuts (prime accused)and a zillion other things...Maybe thats why Indians like to share the smell of their toxic wastes too...The rules are simple - Open door, Enter, shit, exit...leave the f'in door open...let the smell spread. Ok...sorry for the aberration, lets get back to the great Kerala trip.

What struck me as I passed through Mallu land (also the name of a soon to be opened amusement park in Malaysia) is the fluttering flags. The last remnants of Mao can be found in the last bits of India. Communism is alive in Kerala and how...The humble sickle painted on a red background fluttering with pride in the midst of vast farmlands. But also fluttering were the saffron and black veshtis (what ignorant non South Indians call lungis) outside many homes. After all its Sabarimala season. Swamiyeeee Sharanam Aiyappo! Got down at Aluva station and hired a rick for Ernakulam urf Kochi urf Cochin...O didn't tell u rite...my ground zero was my cousin bro's home at Kochi.

January 4 - morning morning woke up (subah subah utth gaya). KTDC conducts boat tours to village backwaters and also in and around Kochi. I opted for the former. Landed up at the KTDC office at Marine Drive - yes, they have one in Kochi too-at around 8:10. Its a half day tour that promises to take me across backwaters and also stop at a coir manufacturing/processing unit. A bus picks us up at 8:30 and what followed in a one hour ride in a bus full of firangs was a crash course in European politics and Hakka noodle communism. A young American student of History and an elderly Austrian professor of Physics were discussing India. About how different Bharat is...the American had already been to Delhi and Mumbai and the Austrian gentleman's knowledge of India put me to shame. But they had a common grouse....Traffic in India...O...so sllllooooooowww! Suddenly bus stops at a signal....and all firangs start clicking pictures in unison. Their eyes have caught a banner from which Mao, Marx and Lenin are peering through. Felt like asking...Have you heard of EMS Namboodiripad?

Anyways thats where yours truly entered the scene saying, "One interesting irony about Kerala is that it is supposedly the place where Islam and Christianity first landed in India...but its also a communist bastion..." And what followed was an interesting conversation on Chinese communist policies, American voting systems, European Union, oil prices and ya Indian culture. One of the best 4o minutes of my life considering that am a sucker for information. (Had I mentioned knowledge, you would have seen through the con). Realised that how ill-informed I am about many things, especially the EU. I said a silent thanks to both of them as we reached the spot from where the boat ride starts. Bidding good-bye to them (they had booked the full day trip) ,I, with four others, set out on a boatride through a village in Vaikom.
At first, everything was beautiful...the zig-zag canal, the kingfishers (not the Mallya one), irritating insects, a Mallu guide speaking broken English. Took photos to my hearts content. Saw a lady processing coir. But after a while boredom creeps in and hits you hard during the return journey....same route yaar! Anyways worth going once. Then back in the bus albeit this time no one spoke to anyone and was back in the KTDC office by afternoon.

Then I roamed around a bit in Kochi before locating a bus stop. Had to catch a bus for Eloor...that is where my brother stays...but as luck would have it. There aren't many buses for Eloor....secondly the destinations are written in Malayalam. But nevertheless caught one after waiting for 20 minutes and enjoyed the trip. Kerala buses aren't that bad. And what better way to get a first hand feel of the place. Its just that hiring an autorickshaw in Kochi is a bit expensive. Anyways yeh to shuruaat hai.

PS - Don't tell me that you believed that Malaysian amusement park thing.