Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My Mumbai

Can't take it anymore. Blogging aimlessly to vent out ones anger is the stupidest thing to do. Easy for me to say time to act...but what the hell am I going to do? for the matter what can be done? Not a single case of terrorist attack in this country has reached a logical conclusion. stuck. stuck. stuck. Minority appeasement, majority's prejudices, nepotism, legal loopholes, corruption, red tape, govt. files, files, files, files and even as I write more files are piling on someone's desk.

Taj, Oberoi, VT...man these are not landmarks; they are a part of my consciousness. I have lost count of the number of times my legs have dragged me automatically to VT or Churchgate, just because I was bored, confused, frustrated and contemplating enlightenment or blowing up myself sitting at home. Marine Drive, DN Road...these places have given me answers for questions which I never asked. They can't burn. I might need those answers again. Maybe not, but they simply can't burn. MY MUMBAI CAN'T BURN.

I am one of the proudest Mumbaikars one might bump into. It's my identity. I have lost my sense of security long back...yet the love for this city runs in my body. Its dark red.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Let them hit hard…

On our faces they spat
We wiped them
But the stain still speaks
Maybe…it has sensed their defeat

Let them hit hard

They broke our dignity…our dreams
But they want more….thats what it seems
Blinded by power they march
Not knowing…they haven’t yet broken our will

Now our tear drops have died
But the salt still flows...
Brushing our wounds…
Flaming our ego
Just one more wound to go

Let them hit hard
And fear they will know

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Sunny side up

Calling me stupid would be an understatement. Now read on…

Was a tad late for office and hurried inside the lift. Waited for people to trickle in leaning against the wall. My destination - floor number 10. Time for take off. Glanced at the wall. At the liftman’s khaki uniform. The indicator showed first floor. Saw Sunil Gavaskar on my right. Saw the liftman. Wait a minute…did I say Gavaskar?…Turn right again…Yes, its him…I was transported to Lords…no no Kingston…bah leave it. Ok what next?...Lift stops at some floor….and hes still there…standing next to me…I noticed his height…very few cricketers whom I could look eye to eye …but what do I ask?... “Mr. Gavaskar how does it feel to have a Calypso composed on you? Who was better…Joel Garner or Sylvester Clarke…well did u ever face Clarke? or was it Marshhhhhhh”…

“Congrats…we won the series” said an old man to Sunny…He said “O yes”... Now again my mind started racing….think shld ask him why he goes overboard about Sachin during matches?…no no was thinking something else…Patterson…no Clarke…and then it slipped…

“Sir, are you going to Radio One?”
“No”, he said…his face tilting 2 degrees to his left…and then he was gone. Floor number 6 the indicator said.

“Arey yahan unka office hai”. It was Pandey the liftman. As I got out, I just thought…calling me stupid would be an understatement.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Radiooooooooooh!

Its happened again. Just the setting is different. Not so long ago I was all set to titillate the mike, let my voice flow through the air and play some good music. In short I was a radio jockey. But destiny just humped me from the back....even though am straight. Today, I write promos for the guy whos taken up my job. In fact I produce his show...technically its our show. Nothing against him. Yes but I have many bones....nay skeletons to pick....with the management. Fuck the management.

Its hard to settle for medicority when one has high expectations with his self. I am being under-utilised....Hello....Does anyone realise that? Talent...just like time...if wasted never comes back. But how will these diseased management bastards ever realise that. Its a dangerous disease. I call it jargonosis. Its a situation where you create shit and then get out of it by quoting shit. I consider management jargons....for that matter jargons....as verbal faeces.

Please....I cant settle for mediocrity. I have a voice. I have a right to voice. AND I KNOW THAT I WILL. Just lying low for a while...only to pounce and grab. I still consider myself lucky to have done a radio show. Its next to bliss.

I will be back. not with a bang...but with a holocaust!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Mayhem matters...

They crucified and the world watched….
Whipping all the way to glory were they…
And all the while an eerie silence governed
Maybe it was momentary? Or it wasn’t?

The raiders have raided, marauders marauded
The living salute the dead, and everything they dread
But still there is a tinge of green
On the otherwise pale pine
We will breathe, so what if a few aeons pass
We will live on…

Egos died a whimper less death
Bones are now soil and on it people fear to tread
But they did tread along the path of blood
Cz they knew that it leads to the elixir

Friday, February 8, 2008

Cheeni zyada


Cheen ke nazar mein hai Aksai Chin
Kya Bharat ki suraksha par hai prashna chin?
Woh kehte hain Arunachal Pradesh ko Tawang
Pata nahi kaun hai right kaun wrong
Ek taraf apni economy ko dekhar badhai
Doosri oar Arunachal par kabze ki hai rutt lagayi
Par bina Arunachal Pradesh ke lagega India
Jaise dudh bina malai
Phir na keh paaoge Hindi Cheeni Bhai Bhai
Kyonki toot jaayega bharat, jise joda tha jamaakar pai pai

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The demon on the prowl


What you see here is the first glimpse of the rising sun as spotted from the rocky coasts of Kanyakumari. But lemme recount the journey I undertook to reach this end of India...

I left my bro's home at around 8:15 and reached the KSRTC bus stand at Kochi around 9:15...Spotted a bus heading to Trivandrum but how would I know that Kerala bus drivers are pretty punctual....Before I could return after taking a leak, the bus had zoomed off. Then caught the next bus at 10:15...sala ek ghanta waste! Chalo koi baat nahi...Some day I might write an essay on a day at the bus depot. After all am sure every kid in India must have written one on railway stations.

Kochi to Trivandrum is a six hour journey, but the route is beautiful...spent a major chunk of my time chatting with a Marwadi businessman who could also double up as a Kerala guide...man...he knows every place and has been to every place in Kerala...Finally Trivandrum arrived...rather I arrived in Trivandrum at 4:15...immediately caught a bus to Nagercoil. For the uninformed, Nagercoil is in Tamil Nadu. Thiruvananthapuram to Nagercoil is a two hour journey. But an unquestionably mundane activity like travelling in a Tamil Nadu inter state bus could throw surprises that one might learn from. In this case I learnt the art of survival. I casually started talking to a simple looking South Indian, Kalidas, who was carrying an even simple looking suit-case and asked him where is he coming from. Never in the wildest of my otherwise wild imagination would I have expected a reply like Maldives!

A mason by profession, he obviously labours hard to eek out an existence. He is an employee of a construction firm and has been building buildings in Maldives for the past one and half years. Now hes on the way to Trichy which is around 10-12 hrs frm Nagercoil. The only thing that was sweeter than the Alpenliebe he offered was the omnipresent smile on his tired face. (Do I get paid for brand mention?) Whoever said that experience is the biggest teacher must have felt the way I felt at that moment. Thank you Kalidas. You re-instilled the belief in me that nothing is secondary to hard work. Reached Nagercoil in two hours only to catch another bus for Kanyakumari. Here I met Krishna, again a simple youth, who is studying hardware and is working presently for a computer hardware firm (no point in going into the details now). My cousin in Mumbai had remined me the other day to stay at the rooms provided by the Vivekananda Kendra in Kanyakumari. Krishnan told me to alight at the Kendra stop which is just next to the facade that welcomes you to Kanyakumari. The time was 8:00 pm. But sorry....no rooms at the Kendra! season hai...what to do?

Walked few metres and spotted what was the most amazing and worst name for a hotel I have ever seen in life..."Hotel Rehoboth"!...wtf does it mean? sounds more like a rehab center. First the shabby old man at the reception looked at me with suspicion...Thaniya? Vera yaarume illaiya? Appadi naanga thani aalukku room kudukkamaaatom saar! (Alone...no one else....we dont give rooms to a lone person) They suspected that I might bang some chicks at night. I somehow managed to show them my outdated XIC (Xavier Institute of Communications) ka id card...gave them loads of bakwass abt hw am nt into banging chicks (in short am a loser)...instead am here on a tour.....to click pictures...blah blah. They did give a room. Dingy, dirty and depressing, yet costs Rs 300 for a day. The only thing exciting in that room was my presence...and this time I mean it.

Had "Full meals" at Triveni vegetarian restaurant. Came back to Rehab center and crashed. No mosquito repellant, so applied vibhuti all over my body. Who says am not a good boy!...Within minutes Christian devotional songs blasting from a loudspeaker acted as a lullaby as I dozed off. Next morning woke up at 5:00. Left the room by 6:00 and walked some fifteen minutes to reach the shores of the great Indian ocean. It takes you some moments to realise that you are standing on the last few bits of your motherland. And then it happened. The orange sun showed itself to us mere mortals. The thunderous applause that followed literally forced me to ask what's the score. Seriously man....have you ever seen or heard people applauding after spotting a sunrise? O whatte performance by the sun! After playing peekaboo for a few minutes, Suryadev finally rose and shone to his full splendour. Happy clicking!

The crowd dispersed and headed for the temple. And that is when I saw this...Grr... ...how the F can people pee inside a temple? What kind of devotion is this? Show me one place in the Vedas where it is written that its ok to free your bladder inside a place of worship and I will show you an Indian whos never spat on the street. And did I mention the remnants of last nights dinner that the great people of our country had scattered on the rocks at the ocean's coast. Shame on us. What I hate is that this shit (no pun intended) is happening in the name of religion, God and spirituality. Whoever said that in order to have the darshan of Ayappa swamy at Sabarimala, you hafta pee at Kanyakumari? Well, thats what it seems.

Anyways the line for darshan was huge. Though I get bored easily standing in these serpentine queues, I still waited. After the darshan I headed for the steamer to visit Vivekananda rock memorial and Thiruvalluvar's statue. And must say...few places on this planet (not that I have been to many of them) will give you an electric feel as you step on them. Only Vivekananda could have done it. Swim across high tides and meditate on a rock for three days. I brought a chota book from the stalls inside. I won't and can't express the thrill of that piece of immortal rock. Same with the Thiruvalluvar statue. Silence is indeed golden, silver and imitation.

Bidding adieu to Kanyakumari and Tamilnadu, me caught the 2 pm bus for Trivandrum. Three hours later was back in Trivandrum. Only to take a bus for Kovalam. Ab bus yaar! Kovalam beach is a paradise for a voyeur. After all how often is that an Indian gets to see chicks lazing around in a bikini in a beach. But yours truly had better things to do...after all nothing beats a quick dip amidst the lashing waves. Must say...Kovalam is a clean zone...From Kovalam me took a rick to Trivandrum station.....Big Mistake as I was cramped in it with four others...my shins pressed hard against the rickshaw's sidebars even as I balanced my knapsack on my lap.

But the drama hadn't stopped. Reached Trivandrum station at around 5:05 pm. The electronic board displayed an inter-state train to Kochi leaving at 5:10 pm. 5 minutes and a train to catch...made a dash for the ticket counter and there were four people already waiting in line, albeit for different trains. I requested the lady standing ahead to allow me to buy my ticket before her as mine was an emergency. The kind woman obliged, but the other two men thought that I had jumped the queue and in return, they too did the same. It was 5:08 or maybe 5:09 when I got my ticket. After thanking and apologising to the woman I made a dash for platform number 4. 5:10..the train had already started chugging...and I was on the bridge. It is not advisable to catch a moving train.....but can't help it when you do not know when the next train is scheduled for. Finally I, along with another guy, ran along with the running train and both collided at the main door...after exchanging stupid smiles I let him enter first...finally in...whew!

Reached Kochi in 4 hours and dined at Arya Bhavan and finally left for my bros home. As my bro and his family hadn't returned from an outing, me chatted with their landlord for some time which lead to another crash course in Kerala politics. Phir crashed.

Monday, January 14, 2008

God's own demon


Finally...another blog...rather, another reason to blog.

The great Parashurama threw his axe and the sea beat a hasty retreat. Thus was Kerala born. I say it doesn't matter even if it came into existence as a result of the drifting of continents...it would still remain beautiful. After dilly-dallying for ages, finally and thankfully, I left for Kerala. Not before buying a paisa vasool backpack from Matunga for Rs 850...must say pretty neat.

The best part about travelling alone is...well...err...travelling alone! Simple. Nothing beats it. And it justs get better if it's me...(did you smell a narcissist?). I have no regrets that I did not celebrate 31st Dec...kya karein bhai....never been a victim of peer pressure! Must pat myself on the back for planning this chota trip to Kerala nadu...(what to do yaar...aur koi pat nahi karta!)

January 2, Dadar-Ernakulam, winter special train, second class sleeper, seat no 71...next to the loo...take a deep breath says Baba Ramdev. yaar koi gal nahi...safar to changa tha. Konkan railway routes are simbblly soooperrr...especially when it passes through Canara to Kerala. Not that the smell of stale air emanating from the loo works wonders for your mood...the best remedy is to open the main door of the compartment and let the breeze blow past you. I stood at the door for hours at stretch. But koi yeh mujhe please batayega....ki why the hell do we guys leave our toilet doors ajar?...We share idlis in trains, kachoris, peanuts (prime accused)and a zillion other things...Maybe thats why Indians like to share the smell of their toxic wastes too...The rules are simple - Open door, Enter, shit, exit...leave the f'in door open...let the smell spread. Ok...sorry for the aberration, lets get back to the great Kerala trip.

What struck me as I passed through Mallu land (also the name of a soon to be opened amusement park in Malaysia) is the fluttering flags. The last remnants of Mao can be found in the last bits of India. Communism is alive in Kerala and how...The humble sickle painted on a red background fluttering with pride in the midst of vast farmlands. But also fluttering were the saffron and black veshtis (what ignorant non South Indians call lungis) outside many homes. After all its Sabarimala season. Swamiyeeee Sharanam Aiyappo! Got down at Aluva station and hired a rick for Ernakulam urf Kochi urf Cochin...O didn't tell u rite...my ground zero was my cousin bro's home at Kochi.

January 4 - morning morning woke up (subah subah utth gaya). KTDC conducts boat tours to village backwaters and also in and around Kochi. I opted for the former. Landed up at the KTDC office at Marine Drive - yes, they have one in Kochi too-at around 8:10. Its a half day tour that promises to take me across backwaters and also stop at a coir manufacturing/processing unit. A bus picks us up at 8:30 and what followed in a one hour ride in a bus full of firangs was a crash course in European politics and Hakka noodle communism. A young American student of History and an elderly Austrian professor of Physics were discussing India. About how different Bharat is...the American had already been to Delhi and Mumbai and the Austrian gentleman's knowledge of India put me to shame. But they had a common grouse....Traffic in India...O...so sllllooooooowww! Suddenly bus stops at a signal....and all firangs start clicking pictures in unison. Their eyes have caught a banner from which Mao, Marx and Lenin are peering through. Felt like asking...Have you heard of EMS Namboodiripad?

Anyways thats where yours truly entered the scene saying, "One interesting irony about Kerala is that it is supposedly the place where Islam and Christianity first landed in India...but its also a communist bastion..." And what followed was an interesting conversation on Chinese communist policies, American voting systems, European Union, oil prices and ya Indian culture. One of the best 4o minutes of my life considering that am a sucker for information. (Had I mentioned knowledge, you would have seen through the con). Realised that how ill-informed I am about many things, especially the EU. I said a silent thanks to both of them as we reached the spot from where the boat ride starts. Bidding good-bye to them (they had booked the full day trip) ,I, with four others, set out on a boatride through a village in Vaikom.
At first, everything was beautiful...the zig-zag canal, the kingfishers (not the Mallya one), irritating insects, a Mallu guide speaking broken English. Took photos to my hearts content. Saw a lady processing coir. But after a while boredom creeps in and hits you hard during the return journey....same route yaar! Anyways worth going once. Then back in the bus albeit this time no one spoke to anyone and was back in the KTDC office by afternoon.

Then I roamed around a bit in Kochi before locating a bus stop. Had to catch a bus for Eloor...that is where my brother stays...but as luck would have it. There aren't many buses for Eloor....secondly the destinations are written in Malayalam. But nevertheless caught one after waiting for 20 minutes and enjoyed the trip. Kerala buses aren't that bad. And what better way to get a first hand feel of the place. Its just that hiring an autorickshaw in Kochi is a bit expensive. Anyways yeh to shuruaat hai.

PS - Don't tell me that you believed that Malaysian amusement park thing.